IMPENDING DOOM SYNDROME

 

For most of my life, I have lived with a kind of dread, a sense that danger is never far from me and I must be vigilant. It runs in the background like some unwanted, unstoppable program on my laptop and just like an unwanted program, it siphons energy. I am so used to it, I barely notice it's happening. I barely notice that I still check the back seat of my car before getting in.

I am not mentally ill. I am living in a female body in a patriarchy-drunk world that hates us. Globally, 35% of women have experienced either physical and/or sexual violence. 200 million women have experienced genital mutilation. Recent reports by Iranian medics revealed that Iranian security forces are targeting women at anti-regime rallies with shotgun fire to their faces, breasts, and genitals.

I could go on, but this is a blog post not a thesis.

Imagine my relief when just yesterday, I learned that there is a name for my resident dread. It's called IMPENDING DOOM SYNDROME and it can actually be an early sign of a medical emergency. Symptoms include feeling a sense of urgency, difficulty settling, feeling anxious, discouraged, restless, or uncertain. Authorities say that feelings of impending doom are common when you’re in a life-threatening situation like a natural disaster or accident. They go on to say that it’s less typical, to feel that your life is in danger while you’re at work or resting at home.

I would add 'unless you are a woman'. 

Apparently, impending doom syndrome has been reported going all the way back in ancient Greek and Roman literature. I suspect that’s because women lived at that time too.