NOT NEAR ENOUGH TRANQUILIZER

It's been a very bad week for animals in captivity.

On Wednesday, three chimpanzees in a Swedish zoo escaped from their enclosure (fancy for cage) and went on the lam for several hours before being shot dead. A fourth was wounded and a fifth was believed to have turned himself in voluntarily. Apparently the animals had to be put down (fancy for killed) because there was not enough tranquilizer to subdue all of them.

Over in Berlin, the world's tallest phallic fish tank, a 25-metre freestanding cylindrical aquarium burst on Friday, leading to the writhing suffocation of over 1,400 exotic fish.

And speaking of animals in captivity, women aren't fairing so well either. In a week of high-profile violence in Metro Vancouver, three women were killed in the span of just six days. The murderers were all male family members...two husbands, and a nephew.

Officials are now concerned about the resulting wave of women's anger and outrage, fearing that there will not be enough tranquilizer to subdue all of them.